THE WAIT BOOK

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DeVon and Meagan offer a transformative and honest blueprint to unlock your blessings. This book has changed my life you can't afford to not readThe Wait. DeVon & Meagan share how the life-changing practice of waiting and not The Wait Book What if waiting for sex is the fastest way to build a love that lasts?. Find out more about The Wait by DeVon Franklin, Meagan Good, Tim Vandehey at Simon & Schuster. Read book reviews & excerpts, watch author videos.


The Wait Book

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Published (Last):27.12.2015
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The Wait book. Read reviews from the world's largest community for readers. Hollywood power couple DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good candidly share. This book is all about the power of patience, waiting your turn. Waiting on your blessings that God has specifically and uniquely prepared for. The Wait: A Powerful Practice to Finding the Love of Your Life and the of the book focuses on how to handle celibacy in their personal lives.

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Sign up and get a free eBook! With Tim Vandehey. Trade Paperback eBook. Price may vary by retailer. Add to Cart Add to Cart. About The Book. The Wait is a conscious choice to pursue delayed gratification in the areas of life specifically related to relationships. Put simply: To Wait is to delay the temptation for instant gratification in relationships in order to get what you really want in life and become the person you truly want to be. That starts with saying no to sex. Sex is probably the most compelling aspect of human gratification.

The untamed, untempered drive for sexual gratification has toppled empires, scuttled political careers, destroyed marriages, and squandered fortunes. Sex can be like a McLaren F1 race car: Sex can become a gateway drug to all kinds of other choices intended to satisfy the need for quick pleasure: When we chase the high of instant gratification, we make choices that for many reasons are irresponsible and based on poor reasoning.

It takes time and self-control to take in information, let people reveal their true character, be consistent and disciplined, and give conflicts time to work themselves out.

One of the keys to practicing The Wait is giving up sex. We know that for many Christians and non-Christians alike, the idea of giving up sex is too outrageous and impossible to consider. We get that. Love and sex are the two sides of the same coin. When you have sex with someone, you really are leaving them a piece of yourself and taking a part of them with you.

So each sex partner, good and bad, becomes a part of your future. Does this make you think twice about who you choose—and have chosen—to get into bed with? Sex is an act of trust. How many times have you become caught up with someone based mostly on sexual attraction?

How have those relationships ended? Before too long, the hormonal haze clears and all that matters is character, integrity, intelligence, values, spirituality, and self-esteem. Delaying gratification and getting greater control over your behavior—so that you can break the patterns that keep sabotaging you—is the key to finally finding the life and the peace that you hunger for.

But it all starts with giving up sex. Much of our popular culture is built around sexual titillation. In our business, the making of movies and television, actors are often cast as much for their good looks as for their acting talents.

Lawmakers crusade against pornography while their constituents consume it in record amounts. The most popular magazines seem to be about nothing but sex: It makes us forget who we are and what we want. Though we talked about personal growth and getting closer to God, the stories about us—online and off-line—mostly focused on one thing: Sex is pleasurable.

Sex between two people who love each other body and soul is transcendent. The two of us are not anti-sex. To be anti-sex would pretty much be the same as being anti-God. God created sex and we fully advocate the joy of experiencing it the way He intended. I had made a commitment of celibacy long before I met Meagan. When we got married, I had been celibate for over ten years.

What motivated the commitment was the same thing that made me keep it. I was preaching about living a life that put the Lord first, and then I was going out and living a life that was the opposite of the discipline I was teaching.

Trying to be two people started tearing me apart. The desire for peace and harmony within myself was a motivator to choose no sex. Would it be worth it? No sex is worth that! I got saved when I was twelve and lost my virginity when I was nineteen.

As a Christian, I felt a strong conviction about not having sex, but like most of us, I made excuses and swept those convictions under the rug. And in some relationships I tried hard to abstain; in others I just guiltily went with the flow because I had failed miserably, so what was the point.

On some occasions I opted to not even acknowledge my reservations at all because the guilt was exhausting. Finally, I knew I had to make a commitment to take sex off the table. I knew I was giving most of me but not all of me at this point. By the time I began to entertain the thought of celibacy, my life was an emotional mess. Going celibate helped me clean it up in all areas even areas where sex played no part. Since we had both been celibate at this point, we agreed that we would remain celibate until after we married.

So we took a calculated risk: Sure, we were passing up sexual gratification. But by achieving real clarity we avoided making a life-altering mistake either way. Of course, things did work out. So we need to cool off. That happened plenty of times.

We saw the many ways that God blessed us and continues to bless us with a relationship built on mutual respect and deep understanding of who we are. Practicing strategic patience means understanding the difference between the two types of waiting: Waiting that you choose.

Waiting that you have no choice about. The Wait is about changing your circumstance from the second type of waiting into the first. Just like that you transform yourself from passive victim into active collaborator with God. Other things The Wait is not: We understand that not having sex is hard and could make a month feel like a year. But tell us this: Could you do that again, this time because you choose to? Now you have time and bandwidth to work on you.

There are definitely times when fast, aggressive action is required to get what you want. We want to take the stigma away from waiting. Though you might not see it, God has His hand on your life during this time, rearranging the scenery in order to set you up for good things to come.

A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love

When we talk about The Wait and suggest that people consider going without sex, we get stares of horror. On the male side, a lot of men have bought into the false idea that says that being a man means chasing lots of women. It becomes reduced to how many women he sleeps with. As for women, our culture tells them that their sexuality is one of the most important things they have to offer and then shames them for displaying it.

Well, we like sex. We crave it. Our bodies are designed to want sex in the way an addict wants drugs. Faced with celibacy, we rationalize. Are you staying in a relationship for the sex and telling yourself that the other person will change one of these days? Well, has he or she changed yet? Any of that sound familiar? Then, we think that you know exactly what to do. More people are practicing it than you might think. According to studies by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institutes of Health, about 3 percent of Americans currently remain celibate until their honeymoons.

That might not seem like a lot, but that means that about 5 million couples married today fell in love, vowed to wait, and kept that commitment intact until after they were joined in holy matrimony.

So it can be done.

Celibacy is about the mind as much as it is about the body. When we think about celibacy, we focus on the physical need to have sex.

You might have heard people say something like this when talking about weight loss: If you overeat out of anxiety or loneliness and you can address those problems, you will change how you think about food and eat differently. Celibacy is the same. That will change how you think about sex and make it easier to resist your physical urges.

As for women, our culture tells them that their sexuality is one of the most important things they have to offer and then shames them for displaying it.

Well, we like sex. We crave it. Our bodies are designed to want sex in the way an addict wants drugs. Faced with celibacy, we rationalize. Are you staying in a relationship for the sex and telling yourself that the other person will change one of these days?

Well, has he or she changed yet? Any of that sound familiar? Then, we think that you know exactly what to do. According to studies by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the National Institutes of Health, about 3 percent of Americans currently remain celibate until their honeymoons.

That might not seem like a lot, but that means that about 5 million couples married today fell in love, vowed to wait, and kept that commitment intact until after they were joined in holy matrimony.

So it can be done. Celibacy is about the mind as much as it is about the body. When we think about celibacy, we focus on the physical need to have sex. If you overeat out of anxiety or loneliness and you can address those problems, you will change how you think about food and eat differently. Celibacy is the same. That will change how you think about sex and make it easier to resist your physical urges.

The urges will still be there, make no mistake. They were there for us while we dated. We were tempted all the time. But our purpose was more important. But what if it did? What if we made the conscious choice to make clarity and communication and closeness more important than sexual gratification?

Once you reframe sex as a choice, you can reframe celibacy as a commitment that will help you get the things you want. Your sexual urges lose their power over you. You gain power over them. You should have seen the open mouths when I told people that I had remained celibate for more than ten years before marrying Meagan! They knew I loved the Lord and that I was making this commitment out of a desire to be closer to him. In the end, some of them even said I inspired them to try it themselves.

The discipline that you create in that area of your life will be the same for the rest of your life.

But some people are. Shame and the fear of being judged are the wrong reasons to practice The Wait.

Sometimes people of faith have strange, outdated ideas about what sex is. Once again: sex itself is not sinful. God created the sexual act and the physical and emotional drives that make us want to have sex.

It creates joy and intimacy between two people. God-ordained sex between two people who are committed to each other in marriage, who know each other fully and are giving of themselves to each other, body and spirit—that is sanctified. Some are unpleasant or painful.

Book Review: The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love

Pay attention to the events and patterns in your life. Is God telling you to wait? We faced a really tough question in writing this book: Is The Wait only about waiting until marriage? On the other hand, many of the people reading this book, no matter how strong their faith, will probably have sex or continue to before marriage.

To ignore that would not only be dismissive but could be viewed as borderline delusional. Just like you, we live in the real world where we try every day to live as spiritual beings dealing with the challenges of our flesh, so we do understand. However, even with that understanding, we are confident that saving sex until after marriage will yield the best results, both for you as an individual and for you and your partner. We can speak to the blessings firsthand.

That said, we believe that to gain all the blessings connected to The Wait, celibacy should continue until you make that vow of lasting commitment.

Daily Inspirations for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love

Plus, qualifying everything—different rules for people waiting for different lengths of time—would be confusing for you and us. The things that happened in the months after our marriage were not things we could have planned or even thought we deserved. I knew that if I had remained undisciplined and continued to make bad choices, God would still be a benevolent God.

We took some teasing about things like our clear skin and how wild our honeymoon must have been, but it was worth it. Finally enjoying sex with each other after our marriage was incredible, but it was also the consummation of something holy. Celibacy is never involuntary. That can be dangerous. Consider the news story in the spring of about a small high school in Texas with an abstinence-only sex education program that experienced a widespread outbreak of chlamydia, a sexually transmitted infection.

Just the opposite. Celibacy and The Wait complement each other. For some scriptural perspective, look at Isaiah —31 NASB , which reads, Though youths grow weary and tired, And vigorous young men stumble badly, Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

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The word discourage says it: a loss of courage. On the other hand, showing some restraint and letting God reveal your next step is like plugging into an emotional and spiritual power plant. As the verse says, you can run and not get tired. In fact, the same engine that drives the best stories also gives The Wait its power. No matter the genre of film, what moves the story is the tension between what the main character wants and the obstacles he or she must overcome to get it.

The Wait works the same way. It takes the tension that exists between instant and delayed gratification and turns it into energy. In the Bible, giving in to the temptations of instant gratification inevitably leads to ruin. See Eden, Garden of. Delayed gratification, on the other hand, leads to fidelity and reward.

See the story of Joseph. Waiting for what you want floods your life with potential energy. In the s, a Stanford University professor named Walter Mischel started experimenting with hundreds of children around four and five years old to see how long they could delay their own gratification.

In the experiment, a researcher brought each child into a private room one at a time and sat down across a table from him or her. On the table he placed a marshmallow. Then he told each child that he would leave the room for fifteen minutes.

If the child did not eat the marshmallow during the time that the researcher was gone, he or she would get a second marshmallow when the researcher came back. As you might expect, most of the kids ate their marshmallows. But the interesting part of the study came as the researchers followed the kids over the next forty years as they grew into adults.

What the study showed was that the kids who were able to delay gratification were more successful in almost every area of life: reduced rates of obesity, better social skills, higher SAT scores, you name it. They were simply better at life than the kids who gave in to instant gratification.

Doing so can increase your chances of being successful in the parts of your life that matter most, from your career to your relationships. We live in a culture where most people hurl themselves blindly into the path of every possible relationship.Health and fitness, personal finance paying off debts, downloading a house, investing for retirement , career, education, travel, entrepreneurship, spirituality, creativity painting, acting, composing music, writing a novel, doing stand up comedy , helping others, doing charitable work, etc.

I have my good days and I have my bad days. Mar 04, Diamond rated it liked it. Sex can be like a McLaren F1 race car: great in the right hands, but potentially disastrous when handled recklessly. But the vulnerabilities are what I respect and I just wish there was more of it.

The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love

I get the premise and purpose of this book: On the other hand, many of the people reading this book, no matter how strong their faith, will probably have sex or continue to before marriage. In turn, I am becoming the "he" that "she" will one day need. I did like the portions where they share their experiences in reference to dating and knowing they were meant to be together per se.

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